New lives – in more ways then one.
Here I am, one week before my third baby is due. It’s been – and still are – times of extremes. I’m about to give life to a baby boy, while my 12 year old niece is fighting for her life in the hospital. She had an accident on the 6th of june and has been in the IC ever since, her life hanging by a thread. And if she survives, what life will she be able to lead? I don’t want to say more in public about this than her mother (my oldest sister), so I won’t go into details about it. For all of us, a new life has started allready – no matter how you look at it. Let’s hope it will be a happy new life for all of us.
It’s understandably a difficult time for my family – my niece in the hospital, and my baby is due any moment. I am sure he will bring comfort, joy and strength to all of us, and I so wish that I can show him to Meg, and they can start their new life together. They will have a bond forever, at least to me they will. Is he with her now, in the twillight of life, while they both aren’t with us yet? Is he comforting her, wherever their spirits are now? I hope so.
I was raised catholic, but I do not think that is the path for me. I believe in “cosmos” – a greater thing in life – which is not necessarily God. God is just one of the faces of it. Call me an atheist, a pagan, treehugger – I don’t mind. As such, I do not really believe in praying to God, as in, asking Him for a miracle. I do believe in praying and using a focus point to send positive energy too. For some, the focus point is God, and that way, the positive energy is focused and sent into the universe. Faith can move mountains. I might have mentioned it before: the snowball effect.
The snowball effect of positiviness
Imagine you go out in the morning, walking to your car / work / busstop / trainstation. You pass a stranger on the street, who looks rather grumpy. Maybe you are grumpy too as it’s early. Easiest is to just ignore eachother and go on your way. But what if you look him/her in the eye, really see this person, this being, and say “goodmorning” with a smile? Smiling eventually makes you feel better. (I know from working as a waitress – sometimes I didn’t feel like being cheerful, but ofcourse I was friendly and smiling at people, and not soon after I would be genuinely smiling, I’d feel better and be cheerful. I know this doesn’t always work, but might work for normal grumpiness). So that is the effect on yourself.
Now the effect on the stranger. Maybe he/she felt very lonely, unimportant, had a bad start of the day or something sad has happened. Maybe your smile and greet can bring a smile on his/her face. Maybe he’ll feel noticed, and feel seen. Nothing is worse then being ignored – it’s like your existence, your very being, is denied. That is why I never ignore a begger, homeless person, or people you feel uncomfortable around: being ignored is very painful. It is hard sometimes to look someone in the eye, greet, and move on, (without giving money, or buying the homelss newspaper) – but I force myself to do it. The least I can do is give them a smile and a greeting – acknowledge their existence.
Now, not only acknowledge their existence, but somehow, in truely seeing or looking at a person, you can make a person feel valued, be appreciated and worthy of existence. So, that stranger. Maybe he’ll feel a bit better. Maybe he’ll greet the next person he meets in turn: it could be the busdriver who is looked in the eye and greeted, maybe even smiled at. By smiling from the heart, you make a person feel welcome, feel appreciated. A person feels better about him/herself, and feel better about life, and want to do better in life – make other people feel that way too.
It might not work for everyone, but I’ve experienced this the first time in high school – I wasn’t one of the popular girls, more a quiet and shy girl who felt like not fitting in. One of the more popular boys one day asked me a question about something in the lunch break (no idea what the question was) – but he made me not only feel like I existed – he made me feel like I was appreciated. He looked me in the eye, and treated me with respect, with value. He saw me. It’s not like he was hitting on me or absently asked a question – he was calm and focused. I was impressed by it – I never thought he’d speak to me, or at least not as sincere as he did then. I felt respected, worthy of existence, so to say. It’s not like this happened all the time he spoke to people, but just that one time made a huge impression on me. I wanted to be like this too: to be able to really see a person and make this person feel valued, feel acknowledged, appreciated just and accepted just the way this person is inside, not just how others categorize this person.
Maybe that busdriver smiles more at the people coming into the bus, greeting them more cheerfully. And maybe those people are a bit more positive.
All these little bits of positiviness give off a vibe – have you experienced the feeling of solidarity after a country has won an important soccer game? The positive vibe in a meeting room, the energy, when everyone is excited to get started on the new project, to do his best and to give his all? This positive vibe, positive energy can have huge effects could have been started by a single smile in the morning.
So I believe in positiviness, in healing thoughts. Ofcourse, I too am not always the sunshine in the house, I have plenty of grumpy and negative moments, but I try. I keep thinking of posibillities, for Meg, rather then impossibilities. I keep thinking of rehabilitation, recovery for Meg, instead of the long way it will be and the limits she might have.
Normal life continues – normal activities take place, we still laugh at jokes, have fun with our kids and cherish moments together. It is needed, for Meg.
We too burn a candle for Meg (albeit one on batteries, I don’t dare leave a burning candle out with young kids around, not even if I’d put it high up).
We too “pray” for a good recovery and send healing thoughts her way.
Will you think of her too, even though you don’t know her? Send some loving thoughts her way, send her strength, send her comforting thoughts and feelings of safety.
Miracles happen – let Meg’s recovery be one.